Deeper and deeper I go into the depths of understanding communication.
How do I communicate with the world?
What am I communicating?
Do I communicate with clarity?
Do I say what I mean and mean what I say?
Am I direct & honest; kind & compassionate when I speak?
Recently I found myself in a whirlwind of confusion, and misunderstanding, with another beautiful soul. Assumptions & not saying what is being asked of me in a direct way was the seed of the misunderstanding. She was stern, in her voice, I could feel the parallel story. A story of the event that involved me, this story was so vastly different from my experience of this event. The assumption; I did not read the email. Yet I did the only action asked within the dialogue of the email. The expectation was that I simply know what it is she was looking for without being asked. uh? What? I am not a mind reader. So I invited a conversation about our communication with each other. Mentioning that one of my needs, is that all call to actions need to be clearly stated and not assumed that I can ‘read between the lines or thoughts’.
The situation brought up an extreme emotional response from her, so strong my body became ill.
Going within now; I am her and she is me. And now I wonder, where in my life am I not being direct and clear in my communications. Where am I assuming that the other is reading my mind? Looking back on times I was in these situations where roles were reversed. I see now that perhaps I did not clearly communicate all that I meant to say every time. Ahhhhh thank you. An opportunity to refine communication. To go within. Each moment a mirror for me to explore the depths of me.
I was frustrated that she did not communicate what she needed from me. I was frustrated there was an unrealistic expectation to act upon something never asked of me. And this is where it gets interesting. In our discussion of communication, I realized she believes she communicated clearly. So now what? There was no solution within the conversation; so I left the conversation feeling unheard. Trusting that in the future my needs of clarity will be meet, through my efforts of voicing my needs. I will continue to advocate with compassion, speaking my truth until I am heard.
Deep emotions rose to the surface. Here it is. The past bubbling up, very uncomfortable feelings.
The story, ‘can’t do anything right’
Mmmm; where did this come from?
Yes I recognize this now.
This story was on repeat my entire childhood/life. Feeling like I could not do anything right. Growing up my very loving and amazing parents tried their best to a instill strong work ethics. They had their ways of doing things, and if it was not done their way it was the wrong way.
This behavior created a story that I could do ‘nothing right’.
Yes I finally see it! They were assuming that I could think in the same process as they did and when they asked me to do a task, three of four tasks where expected. So no matter what; I would have never lived up to their expectations unless I could read minds. On their end they were setting themselves up for disappointment by not asking all that they wanted of me.
Continuing their belief and story of me, not being able to complete the task correctly.
And so this shows up many years later very strongly as my opportunity to heal; and see it for what it is. I recognize this deep hurt is not from the present moment, yet the past coming through the present moment to say hello.
And again I go within….where in my life am I expecting someone to do something that I did not ask of them? And in this situation what am I really frustrated with?
I recognize the frustration is really with myself. The opportunity is clear now to release the personalization of it all. Let it go! Seizing the opportunity to learn. Inviting that when I speak; the words reflect all that I want to say, leaving nothing to assumptions.
Knowing this is a process, to continuously learn from.
I hear echo from the heart.
The other humans involved in these situations had the best intentions; they meant no harm, nor where they intending on setting me up for failure. They were simply trying their best to communicate what they needed. And when these situations rise, all I can do is to hold them in this light of high regard as I voice my needs. Finding a way that we can communicate with clarity. Knowing that within finding our way, it may be a little messy but we will figure it out.
Love; kindness & compassion is the compass that guide the conversations.
What is your relationship to communication?
Can you relate?
Are you listening to you?
Are you listening to others?
What relationships in your life would you like clearer communication?
If you are in a journey of deeply listening to self, inviting clarity within as you build relationship with your compass. If you are wanting to go deeper beyond the stories and interested in harvesting the seeds of your innate inner wisdom & embodying your higher self and light. I'd love to connect. I am a guide, coach, mentor, the mirror for you to explore as you deeply unveil as you remember your true self.
If this calls to you, and you want to connect, hear about the offerings, and sacred containers of support, Click Here for your complimentary call.
love your guide,
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